I Need the Colbert Bump


I recently saw Stephen Colbert help Bill Clinton set up a Twitter account. Within four days, Bill had over 147,725 Twitter followers. He got the Colbert bump. I have spent four months tweeting, pinning, friending, and blogging and don’t have nearly as many followers.

Recently, I had to take a temp job for some extra cash. I am still doing accounting, dreadful stuff that involves medicare billing, which I know nothing about. After three short weeks, I am experiencing anxiety and sleeplessness and I’m only doing this two days a week! Today I had to watch a webinar with one of my co-workers, a twenty two year old IT guy. Ten minutes into the webinar we both agreed we had no idea what the web guy was talking about.

He was using words like:

Market Penetration (IT guys asks me, “Is this about sex?”)

Deployment Scenarios (Me: “Deployment?” IT guy: “Iraq?”)

Enhancing Performance (IT guy: “I told you this was about sex” Me: “Or Lance Armstrong.”)

Maintaining the same protection (Me: “Ah, maybe it is about sex. Safe sex”).

Then the webinar host said,  Those of you in the Americas won’t really need this next step. (“That would be us,” I said.)

We both quickly took out our Iphones. I fired off some tweets, IT guy played What’s the Word?

He asked me about tweeting and I told him about my book and how I use Twitter to promote The Reverse Commute. He told me he doesn’t read a lot but if a book “had some captivating words and was going and flowing” he could possibly get pulled into the story. I said he might find the The Reverse Commute to be going and flowing. “Do you have a girlfriend?” I asked. “Because she would definitely like it. I’ll bring you a copy.”

Overall, it was another excruciating day in a corporate accounting job with a minor interlude for a boring webinar and stolen tweets. The highlight was when I got to use the only accounting joke I know. I sent a tweet to Annie Lamott, a famous writer, who was tweeting complaints about being stuck in an airport because her flight was delayed. She said she hated book tours and was enraged and bitter. I tweeted – Some writers would give their right arm to a rabid African hyena for a book tour. I don’t what I meant by that. It isn’t true, because I would have a hard time continuing my writing without my right arm. Then I tweeted – Let’s trade places. I’m stuck in an accounting office and it’s accrual world.

That’s it. That’s the accounting joke. Get it – A cruel world. Accrual. See, accountants can sometimes be comedians.

In a round about way this brings me to the point of this blog. I need to sell more books. I need the Colbert bump, so I blogged about it on the Huffington Post.

I am now at home, tweeting Colbert and Bill Clinton and Jay Leno and Delia Ephron and any other name I may have shamelessly dropped in the blog. Looking for that celebrity bump that will put my sales over the top. (Should I tweet the blog to Annie Lamott? What do you think? I’ve read some of her books. I like her. I wouldn’t want to enrage her or sound bitter myself. Please advise.)


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